What is the true meaning of Labor Day?

I can't believe it's already Labor Day weekend. Another summer is gone forever, another Burning Man in the books and another chance to buy a mattress and pay nothing until 2013. While I enjoy a long weekend as much as the next guy, I don't think I've every really understood the true meaning of Labor Day.

I understand what Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are about. New Years, Veteran's Day, Memorial Day and July Fourth all make perfect sense to me. Hell, I even get Columbus Day and St Patrick's Day; but Labor Day ... not so much.

If you look up the word labor in the dictionary, it means "work." While I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a leading authority on the subject of work (I've managed to keep it at arm's length for a while now), there are things about this holiday I just don't get. Like, if labor means work, then why is Labor Day not a work day?

I've been told that Labor Day is a celebration of the American working class, a day for the average worker to escape the daily grind ... unless you're in the military, a fireman, a waitress or the guy who sells the mattresses you don't have to pay for until 2013. When is their holiday?

Who celebrates Labor Day if the clerks, cashiers, cooks and cops are on the job? Truckers and taxi drivers are on the road, pilots and pizza makers, nurses and nannies and even emergency room doctors and evangelists work the long weekend.

Is it really about the common laborer if people are working in ambulances, barrooms, casinos, dormitories, eating establishments, furniture stores, gyms, hotels, isolation wards, jails, kitchens, laboratories, meth labs, naval bases, old folks homes, police stations, Quiznos, radio stations, saloons, toll booths, undertaker places (shut up, that was a hard one!), veterinary clinics, whorehouses, x-ray labs, yard sales and zoos?

Think about it - people like architects, book keepers, cardiologists, dentists, Ellen Degeneres, federal workers, gynecologists, hospital administrators, interns, judges, Klansmen, lawyers, managers, neurosurgeons, oil barons, politicians, quarterbacks, realtors, senators, teachers, unemployed dudes, Virginia Governor Tim Kane, writers, xenophobes (look it up), yachtsmen and Zen Master Phil Jackson usually kick back and enjoy the Labor Day weekend.

Admit it - you didn't think I could do it for two paragraphs in a row did you? I've got four kids and six grandkids; I've read a lot of Dr Suess books.

The point is that if Labor Day was really a holiday for workers, the real workers would have a holiday. Instead, it seems like another perk for managers, professionals and conspicuously gay talk show hosts. People like that and slackers like me don't need an excuse to take a day off, everyday is a holiday when you're lazy, rich, in charge or a conspicuously gay talk show host.

Labor Day is not just an American phenomenon. Canadians, who make a decent beer but often lack originality, celebrate Labor Day on the same day we do. New Zealand and Australia have a holiday called Labour Day in October. Those whacky folks down under even spell with an accent.

Don't get me wrong, I think we should keep the holiday, but maybe we should find a more suitable name for it. How about "Back to School Day," "Football Starts Next Week Day" or my personal favorite, "That Random Holiday between the Fourth of July and Columbus Day." Any of those would work.

Whatever you call it, it's a three-day weekend, and that can't be a bad thing. It stinks if you have to work this weekend but try to look on the bright side; at least they named a holiday for you.

Rick Seley is a Fallon resident.