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It's difference of opinion that makes a horse race interesting
May 8, 2008, 12:05 AM
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PINE NUTS
By McAvoy Layne
Saturday afternoon in Sacramento I had the strangest conversation in a shop on J Street. The proprietor had three chocolate candy bars for sale, each featuring a portrait of one of the three presidential candidates. I picked up an Obama Bar, a Clinton Bar and a McCain Bar for gifts, and as I handed her a $20 bill she asked, "Do you have a horse in this race?"
Well, this was two hours before post time for the Kentucky Derby, and I assumed she was talking about Churchill Downs. My reply was not at all what she was expecting...
"Do I have a horse? I've got three horses!"
She looked at me with raised eyebrows, and handed me my change.
"Before leaving Nevada, the last thing I did was to get some action on the race!"
"And you bet on all three?!"
"Yeah, I got on that filly at twenty to one, she's the only filly in the race, you know."
"Yes ... I know."
"She's a slow starter, mind you, but just watch her get up and gallop down the stretch."
"She won't give up, we know that," she acquiesced with a smile.
"Then I got Colonel John at six to one, but the question is, can he run in the dirt."
"Oh, there'll be plenty of that, to be sure."
"But my favorite is Big Brown at three to one."
"You do use some colorful language."
"He was named after UPS, you know."
"I always wondered how he got such a name ... so you think he's going to win?"
"Oh, no doubt about it! I just hope he doesn't win and then we find out he was jacked-up on drugs."
"You think he does drugs?"
"Well, his trainer was suspended once for administering banned substances, you know."
"You mean his pastor?"
"Call him what you will, they say he put $100,000 of his own money on Big Brown to finish first."
She was looking a little exasperated at this point and I was about to take my leave when she raised her hand.
"If I may ask, just where do you get your information?"
"Oh, mostly Joe Drape of the New York Times ... the guy was a horse in his last life; I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't eat oats for breakfast.
She shook her head as if she understood, but I had a strange feeling she didn't bet on bangtail ponies as a regular thing, so I gathered up my candy bars and bid her a fond adieu.
As it turned out, in case you were scuba diving in Belize on Saturday afternoon, Big Brown did win the Derby in a big way. Eight Belles finished second, then, tragically, had to be euthanized following a freakish fall. Colonel John finished sixth.
I must someday go back to that store on J Street in Sacramento and tell that poor lady that I was talking about a real horse race, as I realized after the fact, she might have been thinking about the presidential race when she sold me those candy bars.
I guess it's a difference of opinion that makes a horse race interesting...
McAvoy Layne is an Incline Village resident who visits area schools as the ghost of Mark Twain.
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