Site search
sponsored by
Home
News
ENLARGE
By Christina Speed
It occurred to me the other day that I spend a lot of time crying. Now, before you assume I need to get a grip, our children are not over the age of 5 yet, so that may have a lot to do with it. But when I ask mothers of older children and teenagers, most say the tears just take a different shape: joy for a rite of passage, worry for a safe teen driver or confusion over an adolescent reaction. Are a mother's tears ever dry?
It occurred to me the other day that I spend a lot of time crying. Now, before you assume I need to get a grip, our children are not over the age of 5 yet, so that may have a lot to do with it. But when I ask mothers of older children and teenagers, most say the tears just take a different shape: joy for a rite of passage, worry for a safe teen driver or confusion over an adolescent reaction. Are a mother's tears ever dry?
On any given day, there are a number of battles I must choose to fight or to succumb. Just as on that very same day, there are beautiful, loving exchanges between our sons that fill me with pride. A mother's emotional experiences geometrically expand and take different shapes as time passes.
When our youngest was a newborn and our oldest was 2, I could have held court with all of the reality TV shows combined. Just getting everyone fed, dressed and happy to play was as entertaining and difficult as arranging a circus - and that all took place well before 8 a.m.. What would the snack rush bring? The lull of mid-afternoon? Admittedly, many of those mornings I would turn and stare out the window over my kitchen sink - the sharpness of being overwhelmed and feeling vulnerable easily brought quiet tears.
Back then it was managing two very young children. Now it is choosing which television programs are appropriate and training everything from table manners to personal hygiene. In the future, it will be achieving success in school to their choosing friends. The tears will fall for different reasons at different times.
When our youngest was a newborn and our oldest was 2, I could have held court with all of the reality TV shows combined. Just getting everyone fed, dressed and happy to play was as entertaining and difficult as arranging a circus - and that all took place well before 8 a.m.. What would the snack rush bring? The lull of mid-afternoon? Admittedly, many of those mornings I would turn and stare out the window over my kitchen sink - the sharpness of being overwhelmed and feeling vulnerable easily brought quiet tears.
Back then it was managing two very young children. Now it is choosing which television programs are appropriate and training everything from table manners to personal hygiene. In the future, it will be achieving success in school to their choosing friends. The tears will fall for different reasons at different times.
Tears also flow for sheer joy. My maternal heart melts when I see my sons hug voluntarily or share a toy easily. My eyes glaze over and a smile wiggles into my lips when I hear one of them say, "I love you!" to the other. Of course, every mother alive cries tears during the moment her child entered the world. For some, it might have been relief, while for others, the most intense happiness.
The equal parts adoration and frustration a mother feels each day while raising her child or children is powerful and often surprising. At times, I swell with blissful love as much as at times I am congested with frustration. Each of these emotions easily allows full tears to line my eyes and draw wet lines down my cheeks ... all for the love of my children.
My tears are shed out of one of three feelings: absolute love, sheer frustration or genuine confusion. I know I am not alone. I have not had to go far to see a mother's eyes well here or there. But here, in my home, I look to the ceiling and think, "When will I get my tears under control?" As veteran moms remind me, the reasons for the tears never go; they just change shape as time passes.
The equal parts adoration and frustration a mother feels each day while raising her child or children is powerful and often surprising. At times, I swell with blissful love as much as at times I am congested with frustration. Each of these emotions easily allows full tears to line my eyes and draw wet lines down my cheeks ... all for the love of my children.
My tears are shed out of one of three feelings: absolute love, sheer frustration or genuine confusion. I know I am not alone. I have not had to go far to see a mother's eyes well here or there. But here, in my home, I look to the ceiling and think, "When will I get my tears under control?" As veteran moms remind me, the reasons for the tears never go; they just change shape as time passes.
Christina Speed is the mother of two active children and consciously seeks ways to spend family time wisely. She resides in Fallon.
