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By Glen McAdoo
You're fired. Or not. Donald Trump is famous for his wealth, his wives and firing people - in that order. Last week he did an about face when he decided not to fire Miss USA for conduct unbecoming the title holder. According to the New York and Boston papers, Tara Conner, the Kentucky beauty and current Miss USA, was accused of making out with Miss Teen USA, underage drinking, bringing men back to her rent-free Trump Plaza apartment and testing positive for cocaine. Goodness sakes alive.
In deciding to give Miss Conner a second chance, Trump, who evicted her from Trump Towers one week earlier, said many of the accusations were untrue and she was caught up in the whirlwind of New York.
You're fired. Or not. Donald Trump is famous for his wealth, his wives and firing people - in that order. Last week he did an about face when he decided not to fire Miss USA for conduct unbecoming the title holder. According to the New York and Boston papers, Tara Conner, the Kentucky beauty and current Miss USA, was accused of making out with Miss Teen USA, underage drinking, bringing men back to her rent-free Trump Plaza apartment and testing positive for cocaine. Goodness sakes alive.
In deciding to give Miss Conner a second chance, Trump, who evicted her from Trump Towers one week earlier, said many of the accusations were untrue and she was caught up in the whirlwind of New York.
As the song goes, "She was blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night." Miss Conner will enter rehab. Said pageant officials, "She knows if she makes the slightest mistake from here on she will be immediately replaced" - unless Donald decides otherwise, of course.
Okay my friends, just how long will it take Trump to announce a new reality TV series based on the Tara Conner incident, called, appropriately, "Second Chance?" One week, two weeks, maybe a month? Your guess is as good as mine.
"Would you like a second chance? Well come on down and pick a door." You can choose between door No. 1, door No. 2 or door No. 3. Behind one of the doors is Donald Trump ready to give you a second chance. You must choose the right door. Behind one of the doors is the "Terminator." Or, if you really feel lucky, (Well, do you sucker?), then go ahead, make his day, "Dirty Harry" is behind another. You will not get a second chance from either.
You may be wondering how one becomes a contestant. Speculation is rampant about how Tara Conner persuaded Trump to give her a second chance. I would not suggest any of the scenarios floating around the locker room as a way to get on the show. To get on the show you have to be nominated by someone classy. You know, like me. The show should not deal very often with people who have had moral or mental lapses, since that encompasses most of the population and the entire executive branch. It must be narrowed down to those folks that most people feel are worthy of a second chance. You know, like me.
Okay my friends, just how long will it take Trump to announce a new reality TV series based on the Tara Conner incident, called, appropriately, "Second Chance?" One week, two weeks, maybe a month? Your guess is as good as mine.
"Would you like a second chance? Well come on down and pick a door." You can choose between door No. 1, door No. 2 or door No. 3. Behind one of the doors is Donald Trump ready to give you a second chance. You must choose the right door. Behind one of the doors is the "Terminator." Or, if you really feel lucky, (Well, do you sucker?), then go ahead, make his day, "Dirty Harry" is behind another. You will not get a second chance from either.
You may be wondering how one becomes a contestant. Speculation is rampant about how Tara Conner persuaded Trump to give her a second chance. I would not suggest any of the scenarios floating around the locker room as a way to get on the show. To get on the show you have to be nominated by someone classy. You know, like me. The show should not deal very often with people who have had moral or mental lapses, since that encompasses most of the population and the entire executive branch. It must be narrowed down to those folks that most people feel are worthy of a second chance. You know, like me.
Here are a couple of examples who immediately come to mind. How about Bill Buckner, the former first baseman of the Red Sox, who let that easy ground ball go right through his legs and cost Boston the World Series? He deserves a second chance. Then there is Dodger pitcher Ralph Branca, who replaced Don Newcombe on the mound to pitch to Bobby Thomson in a 1951 playoff game and gave up "the shot heard 'round the world" when Thomson sent his 0-1 pitch over the left field wall.
"The Giants win the pennant. The Giants win the pennant. The Giants win the pennant." We Dodger fans wake up in a cold sweat screaming those words during the first part of October every year. I say Branca deserves a second chance. He should be allowed a re-pitch - a mulligan, so to speak. Make it a good one, Ralph.
There are many in the world of sports who deserve a second chance. A favorite might be diminutive Mary Decker, America's sweetheart and renowned long distance runner. In the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, Decker, one of the favorites to win the 3000 meter race, was challenging for the lead late in the race when she was apparently tripped by Zola Budd, the eventual winner. All of America cried with her as she lay in agony on the infield at the Coliseum, having lost any chance of winning. Ironically, Zola Budd was given a second chance or she would not have competed that day. The South African was banned from the Olympics because of her country's apartheid policy. Great Britain, in what was a very controversial decision, granted her citizenship one month before the games.
I would still like to see Michelle Kwan win the Olympic gold medal for figure skating that escaped her all those years. Also deserving is Randy Gardner and Tai Babalonia, who had to withdraw from the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics.
"The Giants win the pennant. The Giants win the pennant. The Giants win the pennant." We Dodger fans wake up in a cold sweat screaming those words during the first part of October every year. I say Branca deserves a second chance. He should be allowed a re-pitch - a mulligan, so to speak. Make it a good one, Ralph.
There are many in the world of sports who deserve a second chance. A favorite might be diminutive Mary Decker, America's sweetheart and renowned long distance runner. In the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, Decker, one of the favorites to win the 3000 meter race, was challenging for the lead late in the race when she was apparently tripped by Zola Budd, the eventual winner. All of America cried with her as she lay in agony on the infield at the Coliseum, having lost any chance of winning. Ironically, Zola Budd was given a second chance or she would not have competed that day. The South African was banned from the Olympics because of her country's apartheid policy. Great Britain, in what was a very controversial decision, granted her citizenship one month before the games.
I would still like to see Michelle Kwan win the Olympic gold medal for figure skating that escaped her all those years. Also deserving is Randy Gardner and Tai Babalonia, who had to withdraw from the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics.
For everyone's sake, Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden, the prosecutors in the O.J. Simpson trial, need a second chance to put that jerk away. This time, Chris, don't have him try on the glove. Duh.
So, who are your second chance nominees? You may not nominate yourself or Rosie O'Donnell.
On a more somber note, I nominate all those that had the misfortune to be born in countries where children die routinely of disease, starvation or are murdered daily in sectarian violence. Add to that list all people, including those living in Mexico, Central America, South America and right here in the USA, who live in abject poverty. They should all get a second chance. They will not have to speak English to qualify. Picking the right door will be difficult enough.
Glen McAdoo can be reached at glynn@phonewave.net
So, who are your second chance nominees? You may not nominate yourself or Rosie O'Donnell.
On a more somber note, I nominate all those that had the misfortune to be born in countries where children die routinely of disease, starvation or are murdered daily in sectarian violence. Add to that list all people, including those living in Mexico, Central America, South America and right here in the USA, who live in abject poverty. They should all get a second chance. They will not have to speak English to qualify. Picking the right door will be difficult enough.
Glen McAdoo can be reached at glynn@phonewave.net
